Super Human Fathers

[00:00:00] Sean Howe: Imagine if somebody was following you around and videotaped your life and then showed it to your kids and said, this is an example of how you should live.

[00:00:12] Sean Howe: And I never could unhear that. And I always felt like some level of misalignment, like I was leaving something on the table or if like Hudson or Kai, I have three kids, they're six, five and 18 months. If they were to watch the video and if they were to follow me around that I wouldn't want 'em to see the footage.

[00:00:35] Sean Howe: I was I was going to devices. I had a lot of structure and discipline, which led to some success on the professional side. I then rationalized a lack of discipline that I had earned in my personal life.

[00:00:54] Kyle Carnohan: Welcome to the Superhuman Father's Transformation Podcast. If you're listening to this, you're about to witness some of the most incredible transformations that have ever happened on the planet, and just by listening to this, you will be inspired to have your own transformation. If you're listening to this for the first time, or you're one of the brothers in the brotherhood, go leave a review on the podcast and let the brother or member know how amazing they did and how incredible their transformation was.

[00:01:23] Kyle Carnohan: I'm Kyle Carnahan, founder of Superhuman Fathers, and not only am I gonna change your life, I'm gonna get you ripped as fuck.

[00:01:32] Ryan Carnohan: I love talking about the first time I meet people and, uh, it was a special one with Sean. We got to have a, a close call and, um, there was a moment where I was at the zoo actually and, um, I just get this message from him about being a better dad and like, like, it was so cool because it, he just, he had my back, like right out the gates.

[00:02:01] Ryan Carnohan: It wasn't like, Hey, what do I get out of this? He goes, Oh, I mean, I could just feel he was in this with me. Like he was just happy to be here and he was just like, yeah, man, I'm going to be a better dad. How about you though? Like, you know, very quick, take care of your kids, you know, how's your wife? And then I had this moment where dude, I had, I've had a couple moments as we, as we coached this moving from house to house.

[00:02:24] Ryan Carnohan: I undress. I'd never moved before. Like we'd have been in the same tiny place forever, but it was psycho. I tried to move myself. It was never again. Okay. But there was another moment where my family was sick for like two weeks. Like it was just kids insane. I was posting pictures of Dr. Chubbs, my little one just sitting there like, And I get this package, this random package, like, and it was from Sean and it was the soup and bread, just like this meal.

[00:02:51] Ryan Carnohan: And he's just that guy, you know, that we need to be more like he, he, he makes, he, he, he has those actions, he takes action. And so if there's anything to this, obviously he got shredded, obviously he's going to have nuggets to share. But, um, I just want to say that I appreciate you, that about you, Sean, and it's taught me as I've built a relationship with you.

[00:03:16] Ryan Carnohan: And I've seen you serve Chris and Kyle and everybody else in this group, and you always just bring it. There's never, I've never heard of, he went through some tough stuff with the family too, and not once did I hear a complaint. It was just how am I going to fix this and calm also, he's very good at finding exercise equipment on offer up.

[00:03:36] Ryan Carnohan: I don't know what

[00:03:42] Ryan Carnohan: So, um, but yeah, I just Just very grateful. So, um, y'all sent me a book too. I'm going to stop bragging about all the stuff he sent me though. You guys might not have gotten everything. So

[00:03:55] Sean Howe: I'll just start sending you shit. So yeah.

[00:03:58] Ryan Carnohan: Yeah. Um, also there's something crazy going on in San Diego that a couple of guys are doing some crazy ruck shit we might talk about.

[00:04:05] Ryan Carnohan: I don't know. But, um, yeah, but I just coming into this, Sean, I want to know Maybe a little bit of where you were at before the program because you were successful. You have a beautiful wife, beautiful kids. Uh, you know, I don't know if you had done coaching before or what, but I just kind of want to know why or how you ended up here.

[00:04:31] Ryan Carnohan: Why'd you pull the trigger? And maybe the feelings. As you came into the program. Yeah,

[00:04:38] Sean Howe: yeah, yeah. So, it's interesting, right? You have that comment about um, you got a beautiful wife, you got great kids, you're having success or whatever. Um, perception is reality is what they say, right? Um, I felt every, my wife is beautiful, my kids are adorable, everybody says they look like my wife, so.

[00:05:02] Sean Howe: Um, but at the same time, I just, I didn't, I felt like a little empty. I felt like kind of hollow. Um, and, and candidly, I felt alone. Right. And I felt like from the outside looking in, like perceptively, it felt like I had a lot of it figured out. Um, but like in inside to myself, I felt, I felt a little bit like a fraud.

[00:05:26] Sean Howe: And I kind of felt like I was being hunted, you know, and I heard this quote, and I couldn't unhear it, which was, it was right after I had kids and they said, Imagine if somebody was following you around and videotaped your life and then showed it to your kids and said, this is an example of how you should live.

[00:05:52] Sean Howe: And I never could unhear that. And I always felt like some level of misalignment, like I was leaving something on the table or if like Hudson or Kai, I have three kids, they're six, five and 18 months. If they were to watch the video and if they were to follow me around, um, that I wouldn't want 'em to see the footage.

[00:06:17] Sean Howe: I was, um, I was going to devices. I had a lot of structure and discipline, which led to some success on the professional side. I then rationalized a lack of discipline that I had earned in my personal life. Like you, you're working your ass off. You can have the drinks, you know, like have a smoke, eat a gummy, watch some porn, like that was like my release and it was like my pressure valve, you know, and it was like I would look forward to that and then I found myself in a position where like with alcohol specifically Is I was going into it on either end, you know, it's like i'm stressed out.

[00:07:04] Sean Howe: I need a drink, you know I just did something i'm celebrating with a with a drink and i'm like I knew that I had to change my relationship with alcohol. , but all to say, I felt like I was, I was convincing myself that I was like walking the line uh, with alcohol.

[00:07:22] Sean Howe: And then um, but that wasn't the case. And then uh, and then I felt like I was, I went through a business transition and the way that my business works, it's like when you go from one company to another, like People try to call your clients. So like all these people who I felt were like my friends and colleagues after I left the company that I was at basically went after my business.

[00:07:44] Sean Howe: Um, and it was, I didn't realize it until like four or five months later that I just felt alone and isolated. And then I started to do things that were harder, like going to the ruck thing. I signed up like for a ruck on really short notice, and then I tried to like recruit people to do it and they're like, with a rough, what the fuck are you talking about?

[00:08:05] Sean Howe: Like, I'm not doing that. I mean, granted, I only had like eight weeks to, to, to like, so problematic, but like, I felt like normalize that. And if it wasn't normal to the whole group, there were at least like a small group of savages who were ready to subscribe to some, some crazy shit. So I think I was really good.

[00:08:28] Sean Howe: I always had this feeling that I had more to give and that. Kind of feeling hunted

[00:08:36] Sean Howe: The big thing for me was like, uh, I felt I not, I felt like I knew I had untapped potential, like as a. And in all areas of my life and that I'd never really in any, in any discipline, like turn the screws all the way down all the way down because I never wanted to do the work.

[00:09:04] Sean Howe: I was never man enough to do the work to face the demons to let go of the vices to drop the excuse to commit to something to get there. Um, And then I listened to a podcast and I saw Kyle's fucking mug on there. And then, uh, you know, the rest is history, as they say. So, uh, then things moved very quickly.

[00:09:34] Sean Howe: I, uh, I listened to some shit that Kyle had to say. And I was like, okay. Like, that's like, I feel like you are speaking to me. And then I was like, let me see what this dude's about. And I followed him on Instagram for like a day. And then I'm like, I need, I need to have a conversation with this guy. And I think I need to really need to have them in my life.

[00:10:00] Sean Howe: And, uh, it's funny because I was looking back, like Mike Davis set me up with an ox. I don't know if Ox is on here, but this shit was funny. I, uh, I got on a call with Ox, and it was like, he's got those like, ice blue eyes, just like, filled with fire, right? And it's like, I'm on this call, and it was almost like I was at the gates of SHF.

[00:10:24] Sean Howe: And like, Ox, Ox and he's like, This fucking program isn't for everybody, you know, and then he just he gets so fired up based on like his own transformation and I was like, all right, well, fuck, you know what I mean? Like, this sounds pretty rad. But dude, I need to talk to Kyle. I need to talk to the man. And, um, and then Kyle and I got on a call.

[00:10:46] Sean Howe: Um, And he just like lit me on fire, honestly. And it was just like, fuck, like, um, and he's like, dude, I got somebody rolling off, I got a spot for, for one on one, you're the type of people that like, would, would do fucking awesome in this. I'm like, all right, shit. Hell yeah. And then we got on another call. Um, and I was like, all right, fuck it, man.

[00:11:08] Sean Howe: And, uh, yeah. And then I, I fucking wired him 22 grand like the next day. Let's go. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, dude. I was like, if you think about like, this was over the matter of like 48 hours, you know, and I was like, I met this dude, lives in California, former firefighter, like he seems to be like tapped into some shit that I need in my life, like, this is either going to be great, or it's going to be fucked and like nothing.

[00:11:38] Sean Howe: Was it worth it, Sean? Was it worth it? It's like, it's, you know, it's people say like tongue in cheek, like, Oh, this changed my life. You know what I mean? But like this, this changed my life, you know, like, it's, it's incredible. So, so yeah, I was just. I was kind of lost and, and, and fucking broken, you know, and just like fucked up and drinking and going to all the sedation devices and shit.

[00:12:06] Sean Howe: And I knew deep down in my heart, like I needed to purge it for, for my family. And, uh, and I fucking did, man. Okay.

[00:12:19] Ryan Carnohan: So now let's dig in a little bit. When you say purged it for your family, there's that moment you, you spoke about a room that's used to go to, right? There's some, I remember. So powerful. And we don't, we maybe don't, however you want to talk about this, but there's that moment where, and this might come, I don't know, but there's that moment where we compromise the values, like, like I, when you say earn it, we borrow confidence from what are the week that we crushed, right?

[00:12:47] Ryan Carnohan: You say we get to go enjoy. Yeah. What, what, how do you reframe now? Is it automatic? But how did it start? Because I know it wasn't right off the bat, right? No. No. So give us that story. How did you start to build this threshold or build your mindset or your reframe ability when chaos or pain or the selfish feelings arrived?

[00:13:14] Sean Howe: Yeah, and I guess like

[00:13:16] Ryan Carnohan: that question, by the way, no,

[00:13:18] Sean Howe: no, and I guess I'm like, like going and I think to the point that you made, you brought up a good one because I hadn't really spoken on any zoom calls and I don't know. And I'm like, that's just me. I'm not like super whatever. I'm not like super present for social media or whatever.

[00:13:31] Sean Howe: And that's why like, I don't know, I was even like second guessing posting like, uh, after I got posted, you know, whatever. It doesn't fucking matter. What I'm saying is that I got into zoom call and I'm like, dude, you need to fucking contribute. You know what I mean? Don't just be a voyeur, you know, like, so step in and, and get, get off the sidelines, get in the game.

[00:13:50] Sean Howe: And so the point that I, that I reached that was really transformational. And when I shared it was on, it was emotional too, which I hadn't anticipated is that there becomes a point where the person who you were and the person who you are becoming can no longer coexist. You will have expanded your life to a point where that person has to go, you know, and like, some people will say like, and I was to me like at the time I was like, I had this mentality and I thought Ryan had a phenomenal analogy where he was like I want to hug that man or whatever like to me like I didn't realize like I was gonna have to, I was gonna have to kill that man, you know, and it wasn't like a, Shotgun to the head.

[00:14:47] Sean Howe: Boom, bang, you're dead. It was like a choke out, you know, or he wasn't going out without a fight. Right. And I didn't appreciate how much of my identity. was wrapped up in what no longer served me. And it was, and it was emotional, right? And it was like, to take it a step further, like I was born on St.

[00:15:18] Sean Howe: Patrick's day, right? So it's like, I've probably drank a fucking swimming pool full of green beer, right? Like, so like that, I was like, I'm not gonna say I was party boy, but I was the dude, like, let's have the drink at the inappropriate time. I was that guy, you know? And Um, I made a decision like, okay, like that's no longer me and I was almost like mourning that loss, you know, of like, oh, like I was faced with this, which I wasn't anticipating like, oh shit.

[00:15:55] Sean Howe: Like I'm like fundamentally burning some shit down. That was like core to like who I was and how I showed up. And then more than that, like I had, I had a place and I just, I described things. So I'm like, Wildly visually, I kind of see things. It's how my brain works. Right. And like, to me, like I had a place that I would go to, to, to hide.

[00:16:23] Sean Howe: Right. Like I had a plate and it had alcohol there. It had some bud there, you know, maybe a little bit of cocaine, you know, whatever, had some shit there that I could go do in copious amounts. And, you know, my wife would get half truth on like what I didn't or didn't have, you know what I mean? And, um, And then I gaslight her too, like, why are you making such a big deal?

[00:16:48] Sean Howe: I don't really drink like that, whatever. But like, I had to burn that place to the ground. I had to burn that place to the ground because then, then I was open and I was exposed and I had nowhere to, I had nowhere to hide. So, so to me, and that, and that's what I did. That's what I shared that day, which was.

[00:17:14] Sean Howe: You know, I think in order to do this, you have to decide like, which, which man are you, you know, and you can't have, you can't have a, a man and a foot in two camps, you know, and like this post posts being posted or whatever, you know what I mean? It's like, it's been challenging for a lot of different reasons, which I'll get to, but, um, uh,

[00:17:44] Sean Howe: it was like in that, in that moment was incredibly profound because I was like. Fuck man, like I am now this person and that person who I thought that I was is not is not it's not there

[00:17:57] Ryan Carnohan: It's almost like you chose like you're either the man that sedates or you're the man who grows and it requires You can't can't be either one and you had some very powerful.

[00:18:10] Ryan Carnohan: You said you were finally maybe open now I want you to dig in there. What do you mean? We're, what were you using that, that room or those that sedation to close off? What were you closed off to? What are you open to now that you weren't, and is it helping you? Does it hurt? Are you improving because of it?

[00:18:30] Ryan Carnohan: What does that look like when you say I'm open now?

[00:18:33] Sean Howe: I'm more open. I'm more honest. Like the conversation that I'm having with my wife. about that, you know, like the other day I was like, Hey, like, I don't watch porn anymore. So like, if I remember jerking off and just thinking of you, you know what I mean?

[00:18:51] Sean Howe: And like, that's, it's like, does just say that, you know what I mean? To like, I mean, your wife, find your wife and blah, blah, blah. But it's like, yo, like straight up, you know? So it's like, I mean, that's just like an illustrative example, but it's like, But yeah, has it been hard? Fuck yeah, it's been hard.

[00:19:08] Sean Howe: Because what I didn't realize, it's not only about the act of the consumption to sedate, it's also about the dopamine hit that you get from looking forward to it. Yes. And you strip both of those. And it gets uncomfortable and the part. So, so yeah, like, have I been more open, more honest, more raw, like in all areas of my life, you know?

[00:19:33] Sean Howe: And I, uh, I suffer from a condition called, uh, people pleasing, um, you know, or Smith, I'm not sure if I don't think it's, it's completely past tense at this point. You and I both. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, uh, And I compromised relationship with my wife. I compromised relationship with my kids. Um, because of that and now like you had a pretty tough conversation with like one of my employees today and she was like, look, like I hope like.

[00:20:06] Sean Howe: Because of what I shared, this doesn't make you, like, want to walk on eggshells. I'm like, well, it's actually quite the fucking opposite. You know what I mean? Like, I'm actually going to be more open, more honest, more raw. Because I don't have it. Because at that point, it's like, if I can't go to it, if I'm just going to sit in it, you might as well just own it and, you know, put the shit on the table.

[00:20:28] Sean Howe: So now it's like addressing things, course correcting real time. You know, win or learn, move on, rinse and repeat.

[00:20:36] Qais: So

[00:20:39] Ryan Carnohan: savage dude, win or learn, win or learn. I like that. No, that's, let's move that over to your wife. Have you seen that change in the relationship with your wife? Are you having different conversations?

[00:20:55] Ryan Carnohan: Are you able to love her more? Show her that you love her more. What has that changed? How she responded? Was there pushback in the beginning? Is there still pushback? What is what does that look like?

[00:21:09] Sean Howe: Yeah, never, never really any pushback. Um, There was only one point where there was a little bit of friction for like a week and, and this is like if there's guys on here or just getting started or whatever like I made the mistake of being like, you know, I gotta hit my macros and like I can't eat here.

[00:21:32] Sean Howe: You know what I mean? Like I have to, you know, like just so selfish, like a little fucking baby, like, you know what I mean? Like, and, She's like, the friction was basically like this fucking annoying. Like we got three kids. Like, what do you mean? We can't eat here. You can't eat here. So it was like in the heat of battle in terms of like trying to figure out what we're going to do to the point where I was just like, just we'll do it.

[00:21:55] Sean Howe: We'll figure it out. Let's go. I'll figure it out. So like you say, like, get up and do your work in the dark. It's like, hit your macros, but just don't say shit. You know what I mean? Just, just plan it, do it. Stuff, if you're off a little bit, suffer around it, you know? So like she was never, she was always supportive.

[00:22:15] Sean Howe: Um, I did a little bit of coaching before, but that was like JV, I think compared to the work that I've done with you guys on Kyle specifically. So she was supportive because she'd already started seeing some changes in me, but knew that there was more work to be done. You know, I think that women and my wife specifically.

[00:22:36] Sean Howe: Married, I think a good man, right? But then also married a version of me that I couldn't even see. Let's

[00:22:46] Ryan Carnohan: go. And

[00:22:49] Sean Howe: she would ask me to elevate, to be that man. Right. And I fought her on it forever and drinking and like, just dude, why do you gotta drink so much? Like, it's just, what are you doing? And then like, it would bleed over to impact like other areas of our life.

[00:23:07] Sean Howe: Um, and. Because of, you know, what I've done and I've stopped, basically stopped drinking. Like we went on a ski trip and it was like, I was like, Hey, I drank less than you on this trip. And she's like, I had two beers. I'm like, I had one, you know, what's up. And because I was like, I'm like, look, I'm here just to show up and serve, you know, and be connected to my family right now.

[00:23:31] Sean Howe: And because of that, she's been supportive. And I think like the question that you asked around, like, what have you gained from this? For me, it's, it's been a level of clarity. Right. And I spent a lot of talking about like, like who I am and who I was. And it's like, I'm seeing the world through a different set of eyes now.

[00:23:55] Ryan Carnohan: Okay. Let's dig in there. I like that. Clarity, define clarity then, or, or whatever you're going to say next. Cause it's fire or what are you, what kind of eyes, what do you mean? What are those eyes seeing versus the old eyes?

[00:24:09] Sean Howe: So you asked about my wife. Um, my wife came from like a lot of emotional and mental instability, like in her household, um, which conditioned her to be the human being that she is today, right.

[00:24:30] Sean Howe: In terms of. how she reacts, how she responds to stress and conflict and just generally like her ability or lack thereof to like operate, like just throughout the day because of like the trauma that she's experienced. And when I was drinking and sedating and, and, and then it led to irritability and anxiousness.

[00:24:58] Sean Howe: And then in both of us, I would then get resentful. towards her for the way that she was being when It's it was a function of like this little girl inside of her who was hurt and scared and was reacting the only way that she was conditioned to be. Um, and I, and I see that I see her now where I didn't. I didn't see her before.

[00:25:35] Sean Howe: I saw my wife, you know, there's a lot of trauma and dysfunction that just exists in her family. And we broke it. And we broke away from it and broke free from it and stood up.

[00:25:47] Sean Howe: And because of the clarity that I had, I stepped in between my wife and my father in law

[00:25:58] Sean Howe: and just basically said no more. And um, and I was like, I don't believe Sean Howe doesn't believe in coincidences, you know, and I'm learning more that my life is being guided. I'm not. I had this little You know, kind of minion perspective that I'm like making all these good decisions and like, look at me go and you know what I mean?

[00:26:27] Sean Howe: But like god's tapping on my heart and I'll I'm gonna figure figure out that relationship, right? But you know He led me here which put me in a position to Like protect protect my wife and in a moment that it could have broken us right, hey say it in the words say it in the words you said into the small group sean say that shit that So I, I felt like my wife was always calling me to lead, right?

[00:27:01] Sean Howe: Like, and I was reactionary to that, where when this came, I was, I was leading from the front and I felt like I stepped outside the fucking castle with my sword and my shield and said, lift the fucking drawbridge. Let's go. So, um, you know, it's kind of fucking crazy if you think about it because I was taking on my father, you know, and it was, it was gnarly.

[00:27:33] Sean Howe: It really was, you know, um, but we had had a, uh, We had a therapy session shortly after this all went down with my in laws and basically like we were moving two hours south of here in the grand scheme of like normalcy, not that big of a deal, but like their life is kind of built around us. My father in law is like a narcissist and wants to control everything.

[00:27:56] Sean Howe: And he came like completely fucking unhinged. Um, and, and, and I stepped up and, you know, went toe to toe with them and just. Stood in, right? And protect a shield in my wife from what she's experienced for the last 40 years. And we got in a therapy session with a therapist afterwards. And she's, and they were like, Sean, like, what do you need from Alicia right now?

[00:28:22] Sean Howe: And. I was like, I don't know, maybe like a little bit of like a temperature check, you know, like I legit told her I was going to like lay her fucking father out in our driveway if he shows up here. So like, that's a little awkward, you know, let alone like what we talked about and shit. And so like, I still needed, honestly, I still needed a little bit of ego scratch too.

[00:28:46] Sean Howe: Like, it's like, we do the most, we need the least. Like in that moment, I needed her to be like, You know, fuck yeah, behave like good shit or something, you know, and, um, the therapist said, okay, Alicia, like, is there something that you like want to say to Sean and she just said that I know that I asked a lot of him and one of the biggest things that I asked him to be is my voice.

[00:29:17] Sean Howe: Because I feel like I have, um,

[00:29:28] Sean Howe: so, you know, without the work that I did or put in to show up in the manner that I did, that moment doesn't get created, um, for us to be able to connect over just her saying that her speaking her truth and seeing that for what it is. And then me seeing it and saying. You know, we went through this exercise on Sunday, which is like create the impossible game, right?

[00:29:59] Sean Howe: Which is like the four areas of your life, body, being balanced, and business 12 months out from now, like, what does it look like? And for me, like balance is my wife and Like, my goal, my mission is to heal her, so I can't, like, speak from the position that I'm talking right now if I'm hung over on a bottle or run into some comfort that's gonna make me feel better because I'm stressed out.

[00:30:38] Ryan Carnohan: What is it about you versus how you were before that allowed you, other than you mentioned the work that you put in, and we've seen that, but what is it, what is it, what is it that you had due to the work in that moment versus you before that allowed you to do something like that, to make that move?

[00:31:00] Sean Howe: Um, I just showed up.

[00:31:05] Sean Howe: You know, I showed up for myself and like proved it to myself, you know, so it was like I had established a foundation that the entire family could stand on, not just me, you know, so, and I had no, I had no questions. I had no confusion. I had no, like, I mean, don't get me wrong. Like I had some, a little bit of fear and doubt and anxiety and all that bullshit.

[00:31:35] Sean Howe: Right. But like, The, the, because I had shown up and it seems silly, right? Like, cause I had gotten up at four 30 in the morning and then I took a cold shower, like every single fucking day, you know, two and a half minutes, you know what I mean? Like, even when I didn't want to do it, it's, I still fucking did it, you know?

[00:31:55] Sean Howe: And it's like, dude, I'm like, Ryan's jumping in the ocean. He's got to like drive there, park his car, walk across the rocks. I just, what am I saying? I just got to turn on the water and get in. Like, what am I scared? I'm gonna let you suffer alone. So. Like, just doing all that, it just made me, it made stepping in front of the other stuff like, alright, fuck, let's go, you know?

[00:32:20] Ryan Carnohan: That is so, that's so money. Just to be able to see, it's like, like you said earlier too, versus sedating, right, you know, versus, that was a moment again, where you had to pick, you know, you had to keep him dead. Yeah, that got the old you, you know, that's so fun It's almost like he kind of creeps back in or anytime you feel that moment of like, oh, this is a little uneasy It's a moment where he can come alive again and you're like don't don't you know, you bash his head in one more time, you know

[00:32:56] Sean Howe: Well, you know It's so me and matt me and matt powell were talking about this, right?

[00:33:01] Sean Howe: Yeah, creating videos on it or whatever we're talking about. I don't remember and matt was like He's like, look, cause, cause I had, I also like, then later on, I had this, like, this, this realization where I'm like, wait, like, I gotta go dig that motherfucker back up. Like, he had some shit that like I need, you know what I mean?

[00:33:20] Sean Howe: Like, he's not all bad. Hold on a second. You know? And Matt was like, He's like my old self. He's like, I just keep feeding them under the door.

[00:33:34] Ryan Carnohan: And it's like,

[00:33:35] Sean Howe: you could fix your mat, feeding his old self, which may be part of, you know what I mean? I don't know if it's still it or whatever, but like, but he's right. You know what I mean? It's like, he's not all bad. It's not all, you know, like there's, there's parts of that man that. You know, are, are a savage and you do need them, you know?

[00:33:51] Sean Howe: So, yeah, there are definitely times where like things crept in and because like, because of the ways that I had shown up like over the course of, and granted, like, I just like, I started like this growth journey, self development or whatever, um, And like, like last year, right. And it was like, this year was like pouring a fucking accelerant on it.

[00:34:16] Sean Howe: Right. And, um, because I had kind of this like body of work, that I should, Alicia had seen, you know, like it allowed her the confidence to know how I was going to show up because I had taken my. Own burdens and vices and, um, like Cokewell right. Like I had taken my chains from her. Like I was placing my vices, my sedations on her.

[00:34:51] Sean Howe: And then, and then I let them go. I lifted them

[00:34:54] Ryan Carnohan: off her and took hers

[00:34:57] Sean Howe: and took hers. And like, how does it, how does it come? Like, get me like more open. Like we got into it this morning, I'm moving to, right. And it's like, we're going to sell this house in a minute. Right now we have the house that's there, which is like.

[00:35:11] Sean Howe: I'm trying to manage like construction projects that are going on from two hours away. It's, it's a fucking show, right? And like, there was some stuff that she was supposed to be doing that she didn't get done. You know, and like the old me would come in and be like, what the fuck, you know, like, how come you didn't do this?

[00:35:30] Sean Howe: Like what, you know, and I like, there was a little bit of that sting in there, you know, but like, even like Kyle said the other day, like with, with, with, like the, some of the ways that his father in law was that led her to say the same words, like that she didn't have a voice. He was perpetuating as was I in like in a normal context in a normal marriage with a woman who doesn't carry a level of baggage, maybe some of the ways you're being, although being a dick doesn't carry the weight that it does.

[00:36:02] Sean Howe: I was perpetuating where now, Kyle, she will only met with love and kindness and support, which we had a conversation today. And, like, how does this like, I'm going to land the plane here where I'm going with this fucking thing is. As I was walking out the door, like the old me, it's, and it's crazy. Like. As I've had these experiences, I'll have like these interactions and it's almost like a, you know, you see a movie and it's like the, it's like two things are playing out at the same time where it's like one situation could have happened.

[00:36:44] Sean Howe: And maybe it's the same guy walk around the same room but he's acting completely different. I like feel like that makes any fucking sense at all. I feel like there have been several moments, because again this level of clarity where I've been like in my house and there's been this. Space between, oh

[00:37:02] Ryan Carnohan: yes, this is the butter right now.

[00:37:05] Ryan Carnohan: Let's

[00:37:05] Sean Howe: go. There's been this space between stimulus and response where I'm pausing and I'm actually seeing like how I used to react like play out real time and then how I react. Is, is different, you know, where like in this example, like the shit didn't get done, Alicia, what the fuck? Like I'm dealing with all this shit.

[00:37:29] Sean Howe: And like, the one thing you had to do is get the paint colors, the fucking painter. He's calling me in the morning, like what's up, you know, and bam, slam the door, got to go to work, right. Where I was like, man, like, I want to get upset about this right now. It's stressing me out. I got a lot of shit going on, you know, um, but it's not your fault.

[00:37:50] Sean Howe: You know, it's like, Heidi was supposed to be helping you. She, I think she was the one who was the painter. Um, You're also managing a lot right now, and I know that. And honestly, like, this is kind of a little bit out of left field. Like, I know that there's still... A lot that you have to work through and I realize that you can't do it alone and, um, I'm committed to healing you.

[00:38:16] Sean Howe: Let's go. And it's like, I don't like that was this morning. That was like 12 hours ago, right? And like, I get me said a 10, 12 months ago. I don't know. It's how I'm like, I'm telling my wife, like I'm committed to healing her having the level of clarity and understanding like that. That's the role that I need to play to serve her.

[00:38:37] Ryan Carnohan: Now, two things. One, I love that concept and I felt that too. I've said that before. I love that space you the more the longer you can sit in this comfort, the bigger you can make that space. That's the present moment. That's when you can attach meaning. That's where you find your values. That's what find you.

[00:38:55] Ryan Carnohan: You attach meaning to that moment right there. Now, when you say you need to heal your wife, are there expectations attached to that, or is this a state of being?

[00:39:08] Sean Howe: Now it's more a state of being, right?

[00:39:11] Ryan Carnohan: Explain that, explain that a

[00:39:13] Sean Howe: little bit. Um, like, I know that there's internal struggle with Alicia in terms of how she, cause she doesn't show up in the way that she wants to show up, right?

[00:39:25] Sean Howe: And... Because of like the trauma that she's suffering and candidly, like the impact that it's had on her nervous system, right? In terms of how like she, how she responds to stimulus, right? And she's not going to be able to do that in the environment that we're in right now. Right? So like we're moving two hours away, right?

[00:39:46] Sean Howe: Like away from DC into like more like into Mountains in the country. So she can be in an environment that's going to be supportive of that. Right. Like I'm going to go from managing a business, you know, 15 minutes from my house to two hours away. Right. And like, so that in and of itself is like me making that two hour commute, you know, although I'm in the office, you know, three to four days a week now I'll be up there too, you know, it's.

[00:40:14] Sean Howe: It's like the smallest price to pay to put her in a position where she's can heal. Um, so I, now I don't, I don't have an expert to, you know, don't get me wrong. Like, look, man, I'm still rooting out some ego scratch that I need, you know, and I needed, I needed some this morning, brother. Like I did, I needed like her to say like, dude, you're doing a good job and you're managing a ton of shit.

[00:40:38] Sean Howe: And like, I kind of said that I was like, look, I'm kind of struggling with this right now. Like. I feel like I need you to kind of tell me I'm, I need like a little bit of an attaboy. Um, but you know, so I'm not going to say like, hell yeah, man, I'm a server and that's going to be that it's, you know, I'm, I'm still fighting the battle of.

[00:40:54] Sean Howe: Yeah.

[00:40:55] Ryan Carnohan: My statement with that is I'm, I'm not a guru.

[00:40:58] Sean Howe: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm not the, I'm not the Buddha, you know, I mean, look like I might shut this zoom off and go fuck this thing up in 20 minutes. I'm saying, so like, I don't, you know, so it's. It's, it's, it's something

[00:41:12] Ryan Carnohan: else, man. Okay. Well, this has been absolutely beautiful.

[00:41:16] Ryan Carnohan: Incredible. Um, I have one more question for you and then we'll open it because I know There's so much we could dig in here. You've you've served so much in here. I know on the side chains, too And so there's some example that you can get from from Sean here on how to build relationships with men in this group Just reach out and help offer.

[00:41:37] Ryan Carnohan: That's what mighty networks is for you can just direct message anybody so don't be afraid but I maybe want you to dig into that a little bit of What are some sort of the relationships? That you built through superhuman fathers and how has that helped you through this whole process in both angles, you can talk about if it's served you or the ability to serve others helped you, you know, whatever angle you want to take.

[00:42:07] Sean Howe: You know what, there's one thing too that, like, I want to mention is that, I don't know, I feel like I've, because we're on this journey together, right, we've chosen to be here to commit and walk each other home. Like there's already, there's already a playing field that we're on. It's just creating the opportunity to just facilitate the discussion.

[00:42:33] Sean Howe: It's as simple as that, right? Because the vibes are gonna be flowing, right? So, like, how have I connected? Um, it honestly started with Matt Powell. That dude just

[00:42:49] Ryan Carnohan: A lot starts with Matt Powell.

[00:42:52] Sean Howe: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that dude just called me up, like as far as like the broader group, that dude just called me up one day.

[00:42:58] Sean Howe: Like, I don't even remember how he got my fucking number, but he just called me up. It was like Easter. I was at my in laws house, like the Saturday before Easter, dying Easter eggs, and I stepped outside and talked to him for like a half hour. Um, it was just a great conversation. We just kind of kept it rolling.

[00:43:11] Sean Howe: And then, um, from there, I don't know, like I also... I also feel like grateful when, you know, people take the time to help me and like, I believe you, you get what you give. And, um, so I just try to like recognize what people are going through and You know, BJ was like, I seen with a shirt off face looking all skinny over there.

[00:43:40] Sean Howe: Like he was like, yeah, yeah. He's like, uh, um, he's like, yo, I'm trying to get some pull ups and I'm like, all right, game, let's go. I'm right now. I got my little calendar over here, right on my shit on, like, let's go, man. And like, he's like, I'm trying to hit 10. He busts out like 14 or 15. So it's just, you know, kind of getting engaged with people and figuring out like what they're trying to accomplish and support them.

[00:44:03] Sean Howe: Right. Because I think at the end of the day, like. As men, we, we, there's a sense of bravado, you know, we got it all fucking wrong. It's like, you know, cheer some people on, figure out what they're trying to accomplish and just, you know, if something's working for you, it's likely going to work for somebody else.

[00:44:20] Sean Howe: And you can have that one.

[00:44:22] Kyle Carnohan: I'm going to say something about Sean here. So listen, Sean's very successful building a business, networking, helping people like, you see, there's one, one thing you'll see with guys that make millions of dollars. They love people and they're, they make friends because they usually give a shit about other people.

[00:44:44] Kyle Carnohan: So a lot of you are like, man, my business ain't working. Why am I stuck? Man, this isn't working. My marriage is not working, but you're fucking selfish. And even in the network here that unfortunately, the ones who really need to hear that aren't here. Because they're like this program doesn't work. I've never been to a fucking zoom call, and I've never been on the chat, and I've never gave a shit about anybody else in the group.

[00:45:10] Kyle Carnohan: I'm like, why is my body not changing? So dumb. When the answer is in just giving to others, everything, all the money you want, all the joy you want, the marriage you want, the leadership you want. It's all from giving a shit about other people. So if you're stuck and you're not going in the comments and you're not helping people, you're not making friends and you're like in your little lab and you're like, oh, I wonder what a funnel I can use to build, to, to manipulate people into giving me money, you're fucked.

[00:45:49] Kyle Carnohan: Let's go there,

[00:45:50] Sean Howe: Sean. Yeah. Yeah, for sure. You know, actually, I mean, see the people, right. I have no expectations. Just want to help people and, you know, be, be of service, man. So yeah, absolutely. But just be a, be a giver, you know, without any, any expectation and, you know, and just, and honestly just act, do the fucking thing.

[00:46:09] Sean Howe: We all have the thoughts, but you, the, the, the separator is the people who act. Right. And I think that I've been able to make connections like in this group and in life, because I've heard something, I paid attention to it, it meant something to them and it meant something to me. And I took the time to acknowledge it, you know?

[00:46:29] Sean Howe: And it's just like, I even think like Chris Flores, right. I don't know if he's on here. Like I fucking love that dude, man. He's been He's been my ace through this shit and he's like, he's like a silent assassin, bro. And like, call on him and he's there. He's ready. And there have been times where like, he's gotten in my face on shit.

[00:46:49] Sean Howe: Like, even this is kind of weird. I didn't want to get posted. I was like, you know, and maybe it was like a little Wayne's world, like I'm not worthy type shit. But like, I was also scared to get let out the pen where I was like, dude, like, I don't know if my journey stops here. And he was like, basically, man, fuck you.

[00:47:07] Sean Howe: And cut my shit down further. And was like, have a good Memorial day, dickhead 80 cars. Let's go. So, so, you know, and I appreciated that because he shot a straight and we built a relationship because of that. And like, you know, this accountability group, group we got on the side, by the way, I'm part of that gentleman, um, has been huge because it's just like.

[00:47:31] Sean Howe: We're all fucked up, and we're all fucking up, that's why this works. And the second you start, like, hiding, and, you know, thinking you gotta figure it out, and I'm just gonna, like, do my own workouts, cool. I mean, like, look, if you're disciplined, you're getting after it, and you're already probably yoked, like, that's gonna work, right?

[00:47:47] Sean Howe: But, like, and look, I had a CrossFit background, I kinda came into this thing, and I was like, I have to say, I don't know about these workouts, but... You know, I just came in and surrendered straight up and was like, all right, I'm going to do everything. I'm going to eat the food. I'm going to do the workouts and I'm not perfect, but here we are.

[00:48:06] Sean Howe: So, and the one

[00:48:08] Ryan Carnohan: thing,

[00:48:08] Sean Howe: the other thing that I'll share too, is that like, Ryan, you shared something on a zoom call. Um, and this is like, to the point of joining the zoom calls and you were talking, you were telling a story about how you're watching a movie with your daughter and. You were responding to one of those knuckleheads who was checking on you, probably not checking in, and she wanted you to put your phone down and watch the movie with her.

[00:48:35] Sean Howe: And then finally you obliged and put your phone down. And it came to a point in the movie, and I may get this wrong, but I think I'll get it right. Where... It was like a girl, and like her dad had died, and she was like searching for him, and couldn't find him, couldn't find him, and then finally she finds him, and he's on a beach, and they like made eye contact, and in that moment, without saying anything, she got everything that she needed, and she found it, and you were able to share in that moment with your daughter, versus you would have just had your phone, and you would have thrown it away, right?

[00:49:13] Sean Howe: And, I thought about, man, how many times am I throwing away these opportunities with my kids? Because talk to any parent, and you're gonna hear, Well, they grow up so fast, you know, like, next thing you know, you're gonna be walking that little lady down the aisle. And it's like, you do one of two things.

[00:49:30] Sean Howe: You're like, alright, pal, like, you know what I mean? I gotta, like, clean up these Cheerios. Or you actually take that advice and fucking do something about it. And I've become, like, hypersensitive. To the fact that like, my kids are only little for a while, I bought that weeks of my life chart where it's like every week I fill in a box and then I, I circled on my son, my daughter, and then my other daughter go to college and it's like you want some perspective.

[00:49:59] Sean Howe: There it is 800 I saw some today I think it was 800 800 940 Saturdays. 940 Saturdays from 0 to 18. My son is 6, a third of them are gone. What the fuck are you doing on Saturday?

[00:50:18] Sean Howe: Who's got a question? Let's

[00:50:21] Ryan Carnohan: go! I'm gonna show you

[00:50:23] Kyle Carnohan: guys some of this. This is my favorite video from Sean that he sent me. He sent me videos all the time through our process and just watching him just, like, turn into this savage, fucking dangerous lion, but then, like, his heart softened and, like, be able to just, like, cry.

[00:50:38] Kyle Carnohan: And like connect with his wife and his kids and God and just like melt into belief at the same time just being fully malleable but fully ready to just chop heads off. And, um, this is this is my favorite video. Hopefully you guys can hear it but we're gonna try. Morning brother. Woke up on fire

[00:50:56] Kyle Carnohan: this morning.

[00:50:58] Kyle Carnohan: Up at 2. 50. Got like 90 minutes of

[00:51:03] Sean Howe: productive solid fucking work. Revenue generating work in a little bonus burn

[00:51:11] Sean Howe: right now. I'm on fucking fire today. This is going to burn

[00:51:17] Sean Howe: hot all fucking day. Let's

[00:51:20] Ryan Carnohan: go. Yeah.

[00:51:23] Sean Howe: All right,

[00:51:24] Kyle Carnohan: let's just check that out for a second. The reason I want to show you that is that's what we call the sweet spot.

[00:51:29] Kyle Carnohan: That's what we call the magic, my friends. And Sean will attest to this. Like it's hard to stay in that magic. It kind of slips away and you got to grab it and put it back and then slip away and you got to grab it and put it back. But you see, he's got that, like almost a lip tucks under, you know, it's like, it's coming, you know, it's like this grit and this attack, but it's, it's, it's fueled by love.

[00:51:56] Kyle Carnohan: That's the thing. It's, it's this fire in your heart where you will kill. But you'll kill for good and you're not looking to get in a fight. You're looking to do some good in the world. And that's that look in his eyes. And that that's where we have to get every single one of you and myself. And we've got to stay in that sweet spot because that's the fire that's going to carry us to where we want to go.

[00:52:22] Kyle Carnohan: And so I wanted you guys to see that and feel that and realize like that's the sweet spot we're looking for.

[00:52:29] Ryan Carnohan: Kyle, discipline, endurance. This is what the beginning this is what we talk about, right? This is what we do. 1st, you got to learn to just and Sean touch on that just to be uncomfortable. That's the number just to get used to that.

[00:52:45] Ryan Carnohan: And then what have we done with Sean now? Well, this is some other guys there where they're like, okay, I want to connect to this. I want to be connected this more I need to build the system so I can connect to it daily. And so that's 1 of the reasons why we have the council. But Kyle's got some stuff coming, you know, got some stuff coming to help you, help you connect with this, to stay there.

[00:53:13] Ryan Carnohan: We got the council, and I know,

[00:53:15] Kyle Carnohan: I know, I know the council is expensive and there's a reason for that. Because it takes a commitment, like, I mean, look at this motherfucker, dude. He passed his 22 grand like it's, he's just like, let's fucking go. That's how I roll. That's how I've rolled since day one, working five overtimes a month to pay the bills, drop 18 G's just to go work with Ryan Moran, who's now part of SHF, who I now coach.

[00:53:41] Kyle Carnohan: Huh, wonder how that happened. And I'm not saying like you need to come join the council, like that's all between you and your connection with your deity and your guiding voice, right? And then obviously like where you're at, because you come to the council, like you, there will be no fucking around, you will make, you will make commitments that we will hold you to in blood, we make commitments, and we will follow through, but there will be a form of this that will not be face to face eventually, that's going to become the order of the warrior monk, we have the council of the warrior monk, and the order of the warrior monk will be created.

[00:54:21] Kyle Carnohan: The order of the warrior monk will have all the same tactics and tools as the council, but at a, around a third of the price, um, because I need to get this in everyone's hands and we may be needing to like transition over at some point and then take the brotherhood and put it in a different place and have the order in the council.

[00:54:44] Kyle Carnohan: And that's, that's going to be our different spots. Cause first, what do we need to do? We need to get disciplined. We need to learn how to endure. And that's been Sean's game. But in this process, because we were working so close together, not only did that happen, but he started to connect quickly, discipline and endure for the purpose of connecting.

[00:55:07] Kyle Carnohan: Once we connect now we're after freedom. Somebody else called us something different. My brother, he said, freedom's a cool word. He's like, but I'm looking for peace and that's synonymous for me for freedom. And I think the piece he's talking about is. Being authentically you and not being controlled by anything.

[00:55:29] Kyle Carnohan: This is the process that we're going to go through and then guess what, once you think you're there, reset button. You ain't, you haven't got anywhere. This mountain keeps going and it's slippery as fuck. So we're going to be going on a lot of adventures together as a group in different ways. And some of you will stay forever and some of you will go.

[00:55:52] Kyle Carnohan: And I'll support you in whatever you do. And some of you will go off and build your own coaching programs and movements. And, um, I just want you guys to know that, that we all support you in whatever you're called to do. And wherever you're pulled. Um, I wanted to just say to Sean before we get these questions like I know it's six, but, um, there's just certain people in my life that fit a very special place it that That fill a hole that I didn't even know was there.

[00:56:26] Kyle Carnohan: And you, my friend are one of those people. Um, I went through that situation with my father in law after you did, and I couldn't help, but feel that tension in my chest and realize like truly what you were going through and what you went through and what we worked through gave me strength. To deal with my own situation, and it's just serendipitous that it just it lined up perfectly it was like you came to me so I could teach you so you could teach me and give me empower me to to protect my own wife.

[00:57:00] Sean Howe: Yeah, yeah, I appreciate you. It's, it's incredible man I mean it's just an even the way that you responded and. handled it is like that's now the next step for me. So it's just, it's incredible. I love you, man. I really do. And I appreciate everything we've gone through up to this point. It's been, it's been magic.

[00:57:19] Sean Howe: So, um, thank you. Magic.

[00:57:22] Kyle Carnohan: Magic is the word, my friends. All right.

[00:57:25] Ryan Carnohan: Only as superhuman fathers. Let's go. All right. Let's say Isaias was first, then BJ, then Chris Martin. And if you're going to, if you're going to speak, throw your hand up now. Cause we're at six and, um, I'm, I'm, I'm gonna roll this. This is special, but throw them up so we have an idea.

[00:57:47] Isaias Coppiano: Hey Sean, how are you, man? Thank you for one amazing interview, bro. I haven't connected with you much, but I see you, man. I remember you were posting videos of rocks. Yeah. I thought to myself, I want to get a fucking rock vest and I want to start rocking, man. Yeah. Man, that's the easiest way to do it. That's why I did it.

[00:58:05] Isaias Coppiano: So. And I love walking, man. So I'm going to see that in some time. So I had a question for you. You talked about, uh, you and Matt Powell, you fed the resistance. Like beneath the door, which I find it amazing. And, and my, my experience with the resistance is just so fucking different from, from, from for the most of you guys, cause you guys talk about punching that motherfucker in the face and burying him, but my resistance is just so weak little boy that he needs my fucking love, man.

[00:58:32] Isaias Coppiano: And he needs me to tell him that I love him. And he needs me to tell him, Hey, it's going to be okay. I know you're fucking scared, but. You gotta trust me. It's gonna be okay. That's just the way it portrays to me. And it's just wild. I've had this epiphany like a few times and one of them was when I was, uh, well, I end up crying after facing my resistance.

[00:58:52] Isaias Coppiano: I just wanted to ask you, how is it for you? Like, have you ever felt that? Like, being face to face with him and the resistance saying that we're needing your love and you being generous to give it to give it a lot your love to him.

[00:59:05] Sean Howe: Um, I don't, I don't think so. Like, honestly, like, I just, I think the, my resistance is me, you know, I am my biggest resistance.

[00:59:17] Sean Howe: Um, and, you know, To me, he's a grown ass man, but like, wants to act like a baby sometimes, you know what I mean? And he's telling me to like, sleep in, or do this, or react in a certain way, you know? And I would continue to sit with that and unpack it, you know? Because I think if you continue to nurture that little boy, he's gonna, he's gonna mature, and you're gonna have to handle him in a different way, you know?

[00:59:45] Sean Howe: Mine has shown up a little bit different. I think it's, but it's the same because all you're doing is you're acknowledging it and, you know, you're kind of handling it in the manner that it is. I think recently I have. And Kyle and I have talked about this. I've tried, I've started to develop like a meditative practice in the morning and I've tried like guided meditations and those haven't worked out the best for me.

[01:00:11] Sean Howe: And I was talking with Kyle and he's like, honestly, man, like I started my day with like letting the darkness in because then if I wake, if I wake up. This is a line he said the other day. I wrote the shit down. I was like, dude, you're a fucking savage. He said, uh, I wake up every morning. I let the darkness in and I die.

[01:00:28] Sean Howe: I die every morning and it makes going to war fun.

[01:00:32] Isaias Coppiano: How does that look? That looks like, man, uh, maybe it's language barrier, but I don't get how will you let the dark scene just sit in your dark thoughts? Yeah. You want to know specifics? Yeah, please. Yes, please. Coach

[01:00:44] Kyle Carnohan: walk out into my grass in the dark side of my house.

[01:00:47] Kyle Carnohan: And that's where I don't know what's out there, but it just feels fucked up in the morning. I could feel the coyotes here, the coyotes in the bushes and shit. And you know, in the morning when everything's a little magic and spooky and I go out in the dark, I can't see shit. And I open up my arms and I just Let whatever thoughts come in.

[01:01:04] Kyle Carnohan: And usually I get murdered by a rabid dogs. They come and tear me apart, um, or a mob of psychos come and stab me to death and I just let it happen. And that, that is my, um, commitment to God. To I will do whatever is required today, whatever, even if this is what is required and this is real, then I accept it and that's been the darkness and the fear that I face every morning when I wake up and I, I really don't lose it until I face it and just let it happen.

[01:01:35] Kyle Carnohan: I'm sure that will morph into different things it's not going to be forever. But that's how it's been for me for the last, um, couple months.

[01:01:44] Sean Howe: I think for me, right, like, in the morning that Kyle was talking about it was, it was fucking zombies. So it's like even crazier. Um, is, is let, let the darkness in. And that can mean something different for you.

[01:01:56] Sean Howe: But it's like, for me, it's like, let all that self doubt in. You know, like, bring it on. Because it's like. It's going to come at some point later in the day, you know, like, Oh, what are you doing? No, you can't do this. Or like just sleep in or like, you know, eat this or do that versus like, if wake up in the morning and like, come on, bring it all, all of it, like unload.

[01:02:20] Sean Howe: Okay. I'm good. I'm here. And you can, I found it felt lighter. So I don't know, maybe it's like, wake that little boy up, man. You know, see, see who shows up first thing in the morning and invite so much.

[01:02:36] Isaias Coppiano: Every time that I see about a transformation Tuesday, I just think to myself, this is the fucking best transformation Tuesday I've ever seen. And then you guys show up again and again. And then thank you to a golden nuggets, brother. I appreciate it.

[01:02:50] Ryan Carnohan: Dude, that's incredible. I noticed it. And I think about it anytime I get something like any quote or whatever, it's because it's overcoming a negative thought that I have.

[01:03:03] Ryan Carnohan: So that's, that's money. Let it in. Don't wait. All right. I think it was a bj next and then we'll go chris martin and then

[01:03:16] BJ Barrett: what's up sean What's up, bj, dude. I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciated Um you tapping into the community that day, you know, like a lot of guys talk shit And, um, you know, they'll be like, you know, I'm going to do this or, you know, you'll hear it and talk shit.

[01:03:33] BJ Barrett: And then for you to step up and man, you hadn't talked that much. And you're like, Oh, that's cool. Uh, give me a date. I'll write it down, dude. That meant so much to me because what you did was you helped me unlock potential and power that I was able to find that day. And, um, you'll never, you'll never know how much that meant to me, man, because.

[01:03:56] BJ Barrett: There's a reason why I had 14 pullups as my goal. I couldn't even do one fucking pull up, bro. Mm-hmm. . And, uh, there's a, there's a reason why 14 was my goal. And I was like, dude, I don't know how many I can get. But then you said, yeah, put a date on it. And I, dude, I, I worked so fucking hard every week and then I had heard from you for a few weeks, you know what I mean?

[01:04:16] BJ Barrett: I was like, Hey, bro, , did you write that shit down? Yeah, I'm fucking killing myself. And, uh, but what happened was, I, uh, I had been stepping into some power that I wasn't used to. Like, I was like, man, what the fuck's going on? I'm like, I'm scared. Um, but I'm power, you know, like all these weird feelings we all probably go through in this program, but yeah, that King Arthur shit came out that day because of you, bro.

[01:04:38] BJ Barrett: That was awesome. I didn't even mean for that shit to happen like that. Like most of the shit that I do like that, like I'm not even, I know it sounds weird, I'm not even doing it. Like it just fucking happens. But you, you, you know, you're a part of that, you know what I'm saying? So I just wanted to tell you on here, I really appreciate that because it also goes back to what Kyle's saying.

[01:05:00] BJ Barrett: I'll try to keep this quick. Cause my wife was calling and my five year old was playing with a fucking snake outside or some shit. So, uh, But, uh, what Kyle was saying about the importance of tapping in the community, imagine, imagine if me and you just were doing that bullshit like he's talking about, none of this would happen, right?

[01:05:18] BJ Barrett: And it's so fucking important, man. It's so important. And that's why I need to tell you how much I appreciate it because you, you and you know, some other guys too, but you help other people step into their power, you know, give them a little push or whatever and stuff. Take the fucking training wheels off.

[01:05:33] BJ Barrett: Let's fucking go, man. The synergy is in this group. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's fucking community, man. And it's been bothering me that guys don't tap in as much as they should and I'm trying to kind of figure out where the boundary is, you know, cause I'm, I'm not trying to bully too much, but at the same time I'm like, man, I need some fucking savages.

[01:05:50] BJ Barrett: You know what I'm saying? And you're one of them. I just want to tell you I appreciate you for doing that, man. That's it.

[01:05:55] Sean Howe: Yeah, of course. Thanks, BJ.

[01:05:58] Ryan Carnohan: Let's go. Fire! All right, Chris.

[01:06:05] Chris Martin: Hey, thanks for sharing, Sean. It's amazing how similar we all are. And we struggle trying to be unique. And if we just focus on the similarities and focus on Gratitude, appreciation, all these wonderful things that we have available to us, our lives would be much more easier.

[01:06:29] Chris Martin: Yeah. He merely is a bitch.

[01:06:32] Sean Howe: Yeah.

[01:06:32] Chris Martin: Yeah, but I really resonate with that remark you made regarding your wife saying she wanted to stick around to see the best version of you. Me, my wife, I keep it back when I was in my mind and struggling in that quicksand and of life and I asked my wife, if you're so miserable and whatever whatever.

[01:06:55] Chris Martin: Why the fuck did you marry me. And she says, Well, I saw something you needed you don't see in yourself and I want I want to be there to witness it when you reach your potential. And that was one of the things that made me when I saw Kyle's videos on Instagram and Facebook, I'm like, fuck, this guy's tapped into something that I need to be a part of.

[01:07:16] Chris Martin: And it just, maybe I can benefit from this because I tried other shit, and it just didn't work for me. I was still struggling to be unique, and I didn't, I didn't find anything that can make me surrender, but you're 100% right, man, this program, if you commit yourself to it, it'll put you to your knees, but at the same time, it'll lift you up and make you a thousand times stronger.

[01:07:43] Chris Martin: And I struggle to be present on the chats, but I like to be present with the zooms. And hearing what you fuckers are doing is to push the next envelope and be, be savages, because I mean, I don't want to use age as a reason not to be better, because we can all be better. And, uh,

[01:08:05] Ryan Carnohan: I keep thanking myself as an old man.

[01:08:07] Ryan Carnohan: I'm a 52 year old

[01:08:13] Chris Martin: guy with a 20 year old body.

[01:08:15] Sean Howe: There you go,

[01:08:16] Kyle Carnohan: man. Look at these motherfuckers, dude, look what we create here. Like, we, we, we create. These movie like character beasts that like people don't even believe it's even possible because it's not what we do goes against everything that the world believes is possible.

[01:08:36] Kyle Carnohan: It's a thing.

[01:08:39] Chris Martin: And this level of commitment that you Matt pile and all these other Vikings have. For me, not being a big boy and not having to struggle like some of you did had to shed the pounds, you still motivate and put the fire in me to put the work in. And I come down here, I, in my, in my basement and just, this is my, this is my church and this is where I find God every day.

[01:09:06] Chris Martin: And I thank God every day I get to struggle and I can do hard shit and live to speak the truth of it. And now my body is a testimony to it. And it's just, it's nice to see the hard work take, take shape. But like so many people said, the body is only part of it. It's the mind that the strength of my mind.

[01:09:35] Chris Martin: That's improving the tolerance that you that you gain from realizing. Hey, that 45 hour long workout. Hell, that's nothing. And what you have in front of you that day is the real testament to your fortitude. My boss has realized the change in me. My wife is seeing a better version of me and so is my, my daughter, my daughter, I mean, I have to get that life calendar that you talked about Sean, I want to track all that because that's another thing that I've taken for granted and luckily I have a little girl now because I up with my son and he, he missed out on seeing the best version of his father where I'm not going to do that with my daughter and I, I encourage you guys to have young kids, cherish your babies, you.

[01:10:27] Chris Martin: Because they're only small for so long, and before you know it, they're on their own, and if you're fucked up, God forbid, they're gonna be fucked up, too. And, I mean, it's just, you know, mess with my, uh, soapbox, but Shawn, man, you're a savage, dude. And I appreciate the fire that you put in me and everybody in this chat.

[01:10:50] Chris Martin: Thank you, man.

[01:10:52] Sean Howe: Appreciate that. Thanks, brother.

[01:10:55] Sean Howe: I realized that I had it wrong when I would be with my family. And I would answer a text, I'd answer an email, I'd take, I'd take a phone call, right? I'd be in a business meeting and I'd send my wife to voicemail.

[01:11:14] Sean Howe: That's right. I had it fucking wrong, right? So, like, it's, you take something simple like that and you're like, the fuck are you doing? You know, and I've actually drawn the line with clients where I said, um, I would love to, I'd love to take this meeting tonight. My son's got to swim. Me can't, can't do it.

[01:11:43] Sean Howe: Got to roll. And honestly, I've found that people have respected that boundary and come to appreciate it. Um, so, you know, you will meet, it's, it's like, you know, you talk to any like, uh, hospice nurse. No one says, man, I wish I would have fucking worked more. You know, so I think it just goes back to like those fleeting moments.

[01:12:07] Sean Howe: Cause look, I have the same thing and there are times where like, you're going to have to make the sacrifice, but the more you can plan for it and communicate around it and say like, look, I'm going to be away for this time at this time, the better. And then the more that you can be absolutely fucking present and be exactly where your feet are when you are with your family.

[01:12:29] Sean Howe: That's, I think that's what counts, you know, cause like, I think this whole idea, like you can have balance, that's where the fucking birds, no such thing as balance, you know, so I think you just have to, at times, pick your poison, know when you can like push a little bit on your wife and your family, where they're going to have to make some sacrifices, and then prepare and communicate around them, in terms of when you are going to shift the load on them, to plan ahead to try to lighten it, because just pushing it off, you know, In the pursuit of a selfish goal or recognition is exactly right.

[01:13:06] Sean Howe: So, but you're right. It's, it's a fine line to fucking walk. And, you know, I, I tend to fuck that up a little bit more than I get it. Right. Candidly,

[01:13:17] Sean Howe: hopefully

[01:13:18] Ryan Carnohan: that's the people pleaser. Yeah.

[01:13:20] Sean Howe: Yeah.

[01:13:22] Ryan Carnohan: I know killing it. Great question. Nice.

[01:13:34] Qais: Hey, Sean. Yeah. Hey, man. I just, uh, I just wanted to take this moment to throw some flowers your way, bro. First of all, the biggest trick superhuman fathers plays on. Us is that, uh, they put us through all this hard work, and then when you finally get posted, they say, all right, welcome to day one. So congratulations, day one.

[01:14:04] Qais: And, uh, well worth that, uh, work, I know for sure, but I just also wanted to, um, back up what Ryan was saying earlier about you, about, you know, reaching out and helping. And I definitely recall a time when, uh, I was, uh, expressing some things that was going on in my household and, you know, you reached out to me.

[01:14:30] Qais: And, uh, gave me some sound advice and, um, honestly pointed out some things that I was that based on the conversation that I had, you know, expressed, I didn't even see and you had seen that and felt necessary to reach out to, um, you know, to show me that side. And I just wanted to say thank you for that, man.

[01:14:52] Qais: And, uh, just. I appreciate you and, and just keep doing what you're doing, man. I'm definitely, I've been on the road with, for this, uh, but there's been so many amazing nuggets. You've said that definitely replaying this and taking some notes for sure. I was everybody else should be doing. Yeah. I appreciate that.

[01:15:13] Sean Howe: Absolutely. And I would honestly say, man, like for me at the other side of getting posted has been tough. Like it hasn't been like, Like, you know, it's been hard because like what I found is that the process to get there, it's like selfish, right? Because you have to work on yourself to rebuild your foundation.

[01:15:33] Sean Howe: But then like now like what I'm left with is I have to now look outward and look at like a little bit of like this path of destruction, you know, that like I created up until this point and realize that like even though like, Like, fine, I've gotten fucking yoked and been a better dad for, like, the last six months and a better husband, like...

[01:15:58] Sean Howe: You know, I've been married for like nine years. Like, so I got a lot more marital credit to build up before I could spend it down. And you want to feel like, you know, look, I'm doing this now or whatever, but she's like, okay, you know, cool. You've been showing me some other shit for like eight and a half years.

[01:16:15] Sean Howe: You know what I mean? Cause it's pretty, pretty solid. The last six months have been, uh, you know. Get back in the game sport. So, uh, anyway, man, it's been, um, it's been interesting kind of working through that shit and then removing all the vices and Kyle and I talked about this actually at length. One day, my wife was actually like, she's like, you're just so aggressive.

[01:16:37] Sean Howe: She's like, it's almost like you're on steroids, you know? Um, which was, I didn't expect that because I just, I'd remove the vices. And then it was just like. I wanted to fucking tear people's heads off a little bit, you know, so it was a, it was, uh, and Kyle was like, look, man, you, we created a powerful man. So now it's like, and what, but what the source of that was is I've gotten away from like my morning routine and I've gotten out of like my flow of like what I normally do.

[01:17:06] Sean Howe: So I no longer had that space.

[01:17:09] Sean Howe: Some people call it the brunt of that. My wife being one of them. So it's an interesting exercise to go through. I wouldn't call it day one. I said to the guys today, I said, I think like getting posted to me is that it's the, it's showing the brotherhood or anybody else. Like I'm, I'm committed to this journey and I've made a change.

[01:17:32] Sean Howe: Let's go. Not like some event. It's like, I'm walking a new path now.

[01:17:41] Sean Howe: Yeah,

[01:17:42] Kyle Carnohan: it, it, it's a tool and it's a ceremony and it's, it's, it's created by us. To provide a tool to create a framework and, and a system that we can understand and, and it helps us see a flag on the mountain because it's, I mean, the mountain, you can't, you can't, it's universally expensive like it, when you just look at the mountain, you're just like, I can't fathom this.

[01:18:10] Kyle Carnohan: Like it's too, it's too gargantuan, like eat it one bite at a time. You're like, I, that doesn't help me at all. Thank you. He's like one step at a time, you'll get there. You're like, I'm not going to get anywhere, but you know, if we just plant a little flag, then you can kind of. See it, get there, look back and actually see, oh, we're moving.

[01:18:33] Kyle Carnohan: We're moving here.

[01:18:35] Ryan Carnohan: Well, and the selfless aspect of it is you show your brothers what you're willing to do for them. Yeah. There's something to what Sean just said. Trust. You know, there's trust there. And so if you're struggling, if you're one of those that are near the bottom and you're struggling to get there, there's not judgment, there's no judgment, but what will help you is to view it that way.

[01:19:03] Ryan Carnohan: Right? Cause when shit comes, when whatever that is, the peanut butter or stress doesn't matter, dude, frigging doughnuts. Like that's something you go, am I throwing away my trust? Like, cause would you be that guy then? What if we're all on the line? Are you going to turn around right at that moment? And that it's not, I'm not saying that, but I kind of am.

[01:19:33] Kyle Carnohan: Well, it's a way to know how committed you are. Meaning if we're all in a position where we're all suffering, we're in pain and somebody has to step up and take it. Well, we know who's going to step up and take it. Cause now

[01:19:46] Ryan Carnohan: that is if the attack, if the, if the declaration has been made. And there's the understanding there.

[01:19:52] Ryan Carnohan: And I, you know what? If you're listening to this and you're stuck, I'm making that declaration, declaration for you. How about that? Okay. So now it's understood. Finish it up. I love you guys. Let's go.

[01:20:03] Kyle Carnohan: And there is, there is this interesting place where we love you, but we do judge you for sure. But we love you.

[01:20:10] Kyle Carnohan: Just like God loves us. He judges us. He's like, can I trust this guy with this power?

[01:20:17] Ryan Carnohan: Not yet. And timing is not what it's about. It's not about doing it in 90 days. It's not, it's about not stopping.

[01:20:28] Kyle Carnohan: And, and remember, remember, I'm not that guy. I have to accept the fact that I'm not that guy yet. So you might be the guy who crushes it at life comes in here and now you're stuck.

[01:20:37] Kyle Carnohan: And you're like, no, no, I went, I went everything. What's going on? No, we found that you're not the guy. And when you can sit in that, you're actually really powerful and you're, you're ready to progress. You can, you can sit there and be like, okay, I'm going to learn now. My turn to learn. We love you guys. And, uh, I say it over and over again, like we, we, and you guys are getting there too.

[01:21:03] Kyle Carnohan: Now you hang out here long enough. You start getting obsessed with transformation, like absolutely obsessed. It's like your every thought, you start to incorporate the concept of rebirth, death and rebirth transformation. And I'm constantly just seeing all of you and your different worlds and lives and viewpoints and like seeing, I'm like, Ooh, this, this is about ready to pop here.

[01:21:30] Kyle Carnohan: And Chris is sending me your guys's after pictures all the time. Hey, look at, look, who's about to pop off. Check this out. We're just obsessed, man. It's the best thing. Best damn product in the world. Like, what's better? Fucking nothing. 628. Sean, it's complete, bro.

[01:21:52] Sean Howe: Yeah, thanks, fella. Appreciate it. Yeah, that's it.

[01:21:57] Sean Howe: Yeah, look, I mean, at the end of the day, if I can be of help to anyone, like, I don't know. I know nothing, but I've walked the path and I'm here.

[01:22:07] Ryan Carnohan: You just dropped some bombs, dude. All right, go serve your families. You got it. All right, fellas. That was epic. Let's go.

[01:22:18] Kyle Carnohan: I hope you enjoyed this transformation from Superhuman Fathers, and one thing I want you to know is that anyone can do this. Yes, even you. Go to superhuman fathers.com and apply for the Brotherhood right now.

[01:22:34] Overdub: Next Time on Super Human Fathers Transformation Podcast

[01:22:37] Ross Nelson: We were comparing it, you know, and work when you're going through these college academies.

[01:22:42] Ross Nelson: You go, like, if you're in a part time academy, you watch two and a half full time academies come and go in the time that you graduate one, and that's the same thing with these Vikings is, you got a hundred plus pounds to lose, and you're seeing these guys that come in, drop 20, 30 pounds, get posted, and I'm like, like, what the f k, dude, like, I'm never gonna get posted, I'm, you know, I got all this work, all this weight, but when it happens, it's glorious.